Are you 55+ years old? Want to impress you significant other? Pt. 2

The last time I posted on this topic, I was covering the movie The American. Can you guess what I’m posting about this time? It’s…

You guessed wrong! It’s The Town.
Old people have been flocking in waves to see this. I don’t see this as an “old people” movie, like The American and Eat, Pray, Love were.
I don’t really have any funny stories to go along with this movie, maybe only a couple.

Old guy with his wife: “Two kids to The Town!”
Cashier ringing them up: “Well then I’m gonna have to see your ID!”

I can barely hold in my laughter!

Twenty-something year-old girl: “One ticket to The Home.”
I was ringing up her tickets at that time and had no idea what she was talking about. So I quickly scanned all the movies we currently had through my mind and realized.
Me: “T-the Town you mean?”
Girl: “OMG UR RITE OMG I’M SO EMBARRASSED HOW DID I GET “THE HOME” OUT OF “THE TOWN?!”
Me: *fakest laugh ever*

Obviously the above stories aren’t the best I’ve come across. I guess all the weirdos are staying inside for the winter.

Are you 55+ years old? Want to impress you significant other?

How about a movie date then? The latest and greatest old people movie release since Eat, Pray, Love just hit theaters last Friday and the senior citizens are flocking to the theater to see it. What movie is it you ask?
The American.

I honestly had never heard of this movie up until we got it. I still have no idea what it’s about. Something about Italy?
The best thing about old people coming to the theater is that they don’t know how to get the best deal. An old couple will get two small popcorns for $4 (totaling $8 of course) when they could just get a large for $5.25. Their reasoning for not getting a large? “Oh, no thank you! That’s way too much popcorn for us…we’d never finish it!” I’m 90% sure that the size of two smalls nearly equals a large.
They also love joking around. They’re so funny!

“Would you like butter on your popcorn?”
“DOHOHOHO! I DON’T WANT A HEART ATTACK OR NUTHIN’ BUT SURE SOME BUTTER WOULD BE NICE!”

See what I mean? Let’s see another example!

“One ticket to The American. Do you need to see my ID?” (cue old couple laughing hysterically).

Jokes aside, today an old couple walked out of the movie! What?! I thought this was the ultimate date movie for seniors? Guess not!

“I’m not a prude, but that movie had way too much sex in it! That’s all it was!”

Well, just look at the statistics! So far the American has made almost $20 million dollars. That’s a lot of movie tickets! Out of all those people two walked out?!? Comparing those two totals gives you an obvious winner: The American - 1 Old Couple - 0.
Go see it with your grandparents. Now.