Are you 55+ years old? Want to impress you significant other?

How about a movie date then? The latest and greatest old people movie release since Eat, Pray, Love just hit theaters last Friday and the senior citizens are flocking to the theater to see it. What movie is it you ask?
The American.

I honestly had never heard of this movie up until we got it. I still have no idea what it’s about. Something about Italy?
The best thing about old people coming to the theater is that they don’t know how to get the best deal. An old couple will get two small popcorns for $4 (totaling $8 of course) when they could just get a large for $5.25. Their reasoning for not getting a large? “Oh, no thank you! That’s way too much popcorn for us…we’d never finish it!” I’m 90% sure that the size of two smalls nearly equals a large.
They also love joking around. They’re so funny!

“Would you like butter on your popcorn?”
“DOHOHOHO! I DON’T WANT A HEART ATTACK OR NUTHIN’ BUT SURE SOME BUTTER WOULD BE NICE!”

See what I mean? Let’s see another example!

“One ticket to The American. Do you need to see my ID?” (cue old couple laughing hysterically).

Jokes aside, today an old couple walked out of the movie! What?! I thought this was the ultimate date movie for seniors? Guess not!

“I’m not a prude, but that movie had way too much sex in it! That’s all it was!”

Well, just look at the statistics! So far the American has made almost $20 million dollars. That’s a lot of movie tickets! Out of all those people two walked out?!? Comparing those two totals gives you an obvious winner: The American - 1 Old Couple - 0.
Go see it with your grandparents. Now.