Thursday, September 23, 2010

What Would Jesus Do?

Situation. You’re cleaning out the theater after the latest and greatest showing of Devil when all of a sudden you run into it. A FULL (opened) BAG OF CANDY. What do you do? Do you A) Throw it away. B) Eat it. C) Hide it and take it home and eat it while crying (“HOW DID IT GET THIS BAD?!”)
I have asked myself this question many times after encountering this situation (many times). I also ask myself “why didn’t this person finish their candy? Not up to their tastes? Not hungry? Spit in it hoping that the usher would eat it?”
The only time I’ve actually eaten candy I’ve found in a theater was when I found an unopened, 1 ounce box of Mike and Ikes. Before you ask - yes - they were good.
My biggest regret since I’ve started my job? Not eating those Jolly Rancher Sours I found back in August.

I want to try these so bad, but I don’t want to have to pay the $3.25 that the movie theater charges for them. I also haven’t been able to find them anywhere else. Such is life!


  1. Take it to a crowded area and throw it up in the air. CANDY FUCKING EVERYWHERE, IT'S LIKE A PINATA.

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  3. Do like Daniel Tosh would do with change:

    "Do you have some change"

    "Holy shit dude, you just hit the fucking jackpot!" *pull out Jolly Ranchers and shower him with them*